I just finished a group coaching call with a few women who attended my September’s Renew Retreat. We talked about how renewal is such a messy, life-long process. One that is fluid, is personal, and ever changing. And instead of being guided by a magazine’s list of “how to’s,” it’s best born from listening to ourselves and the whispers of authentic desires. Desires of what we most want and sometimes need right now.
In The Joy Diet, Martha Beck writes
“Aching, longing, hungering, and thirsting are the signals by which our authentic selves call us toward our destiny. To eradicate our awareness of these sensations is to lose our place in the universe.”
And I keep going back to my desire for an Airstream trailer.
Is it the trailer itself that I desire?
When I dig into this question, I’m realizing that I desire the Airstream because I want a beautiful and unique space to offer my clients. I want to provide comfort and luxury and inspiration inside that capsule. I want to offer sacred space to pause and listen. Heartfelt connection. I want it to be convenient for clients by bringing the space right to them. And I want it to be tangible, not just a phone connection. I want it to feel like a gift they might have received from their best friend, the one who knows them inside and out.
As I peel back another layer and sit a bit longer with this desire, I know that I could create space over the phone as I do now in coaching conversations. I could create a virtual space online. I could offer beauty and inspiration in a number of services or products of all kinds.
I think my desire lies in wanting to connect…intimately, heart-to-heart, face-to-face. To offer a sacred space for others. To show up with an offering of comfort. And food–did I mention food?
To create connection and inspiration, couldn’t this be an Airstream or Winnebago? Yes. Could it be on sight or over the phone? Yep. And yet, this Airstream desire is telling me that I am craving a container, a vessel, for my work, a space that fills with beauty, inspiration, sacredness, and authenticity. A retreat that creates community in a way that I haven’t offered just yet.
Beck writes about how true desires are never destructive.
That’s how I know that this is a true desire. It comes from wanting to provide others with a loving, inspiring space to listen to themselves. To create rituals of comfort and self-caring. That’s all. It’s not about being rich and famous or about a brand. It’s about bringing my desires and gifts into the world to be of service. In a most authentic way.
Beck also writes that “repressing your heart’s desire leads to destructive action.” By not acknowledging this desire, I’m not learning about it or discovering ways to bring it to life, bit by bit. And when I am not listening to what my heart whispers, I’m learning to not trust myself.
So, I’m going to keep talking about the Airstream. To keep checking the classified ads for a trailer. For collaging pictures of it and writing grants for it. I’m going to keep listening for the whispers, to being truthful about its purpose, and to following any leads and opportunities forward. To follow the desire where it wants to take me.
What desires are you hearing within you?